Awareness of Mental Health Is Just The First Step

This week is Mental Health Awareness week, which has a theme this year of loneliness.

We like to think that we are pretty mental health savvy in our house. We've both had our real ups and our incredibly challenging downs. And we were really honest with each other about our journeys and where we were from the moment we met. We talk a lot, we know the signs to watch out for in each other, and we understand that there will be 'down days', where we don't need to talk, just have some space.

The bit that has always intrigued me about Mental Health Awareness week is that last word. I've spent a lot of time thinking and analysing periods of my life to try to decide whether I wasn't aware of how I felt at the time, or whether I knew but just did that typical thing of ignoring it and keeping busy.

The answer varies depending on the situation. I always thought I was pretty good at talking through the different aspects of my life. But was I? Looking back it feels more like I was better at talking about other people's lives, and skirting around the bits of mine that I wasn't ready to face.

Making It Real

Thinking back to darker days, there are a couple of things that stand out for me. Just to be clear, these are my musings, not based on anything remotely scientific or concrete.

The first is just how hard it is to make yourself vulnerable and talk about where you are. This is hardly a newsflash - it's the reason Mental Health Awareness exists. But I'm actually talking about the step after that. The one where you've already begun to realise there is a problem that needs addressed, and have taken that step to get support.

Putting it into words is incredibly difficult. Saying it out loud can make it feel real, rather than something that is hidden away. Often you know the core of the problem, but it takes a lot of exploration to clarify it. And how far you feel comfortable going can make that all the harder too.

As can who you speak to. Chatting to friends is brilliant. But they often want to try to fix things for you, when often you just need someone to listen. You don't need answers. You just need to release some of it.

The theme of loneliness can mean a number of different things. What it doesn't have to mean is that you are alone. Often you can be surrounded by the most amazing people, yet still feel completely isolated. It's no reflection on those around you. It's just where you are at that moment in time. And why speaking to someone outwith your normal life is the best step.

Don't Wait

Which leads me to the second big point, which is around support and when we access it.

There are some fantastic mental health support services out there. There is always room for more, particularly these days, but there are plenty of people providing really crucial help.

Knowing which one is best for you can be hard to work out. Services like the Counselling Directory can help, but it can still be daunting to take that first step if you don't know what you are looking for.

But that's not where I think the issue lies.

Instead, it's when you go. We tend to only use a lot of mental health services when things have hit rock bottom. When we feel like we need someone to put an arm around us and help, because all other options have been exhausted.

That doesn't seem healthy to me. Don't get me wrong, it's exactly what I did, so I'm not the best example. Or at least I wasn't.

We describe mental health in our household almost like a constantly flowing tap. If you leave it, it'll build up and explode. But release some of the water on a regular basis, and it'll continue to work well.

Mental health and wellbeing isn't about going on a deep dive every time. There's a balance to be had, and the small improvement techniques are as important as the big ones. That could be going for a walk, listening to some music, reading a book or doing exercise.

But it's also about not only talking about it when you hit rock bottom. About turning that tap on every so often to release the pressure. How you do that and who you talk to is a personal preference, but by doing it semi-regularly, it'll hopefully help you stop you feeling that things are just getting worse and worse.

When my Dad died, I went back to the counsellor I saw when I struggled with my Mum's death. The first time out I saw my counsellor for several sessions. The second time around it was only for five. I had learnt to turn that tap on every so often, and I knew I could always go back to see her if I needed to. It was a totally different experience to the previous time, and I felt better even just knowing I could cope more.

Take Time To Make Your Mental Health Plan

We're often good at spotting the signs that our friends need help. But we need to get better at spotting our own, then deciding what action we need to take. Do you just need a break to let things settle? Or do you need to go a bit deeper than that before it gets worse?

Knowing your own signs and having a support plan for yourself is the key. It won't solve everything, but it will not only make you feel more aware about your mental health and wellbeing, and more confident because you will have coping mechanisms to hand, and appropriate ones for where you are at that moment in time.

Your mental health is as important as your physical health. Given the last couple of years in particular, having a wellbeing support plan for yourself has never been more valuable.

So ask yourself, do you have one to fall back on?